Monday, June 29, 2009
Chapter 9: The Labradoodles (Part 1)
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Chapter 8: The Stables (A brief diversion)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Chapter 7: Continued...
"Line eight hundred and thirty two..." Andrew said, flipping through the large contract. Hoshek sighed, resting his elbows on the oak table. Andrew pulled the candelabra closer and continued to read, squinty eyes and all. "Borrower shall have no less than thirteen button down shirts or the covenant will be null and void, rendering all clothes in the possession of the borrower to Hoshek."
Andrew looked up from the contract. "This line says that if I own less than thirteen button down shirts, you get all my clothing!"
"So..." Hoshek said, shrugging his shoulders. “That’s standard contractual clothing language.”
"Regardless, I want it stricken!" Andrew said, putting his hands to his hips.
"Fine."
Andrew smiled and took his red pen and drew a line through the sentence. He handed the pen to Hoshek who initialed the change. Andrew took the pen and initialed the change as well. He flipped the page.
"Very well, continuing on..."
This proceeded for the next five hours. Andrew's changes to the contract included removing stipulations regarding transfer of ownership of children, boats, farm animals, non-farm animals, pets, hunting ranges, dried fruits, and an assortment of bedding materials. And yet they had still not finished the contract.
"If you make one more change!" Hoshek threatened, rubbing his temples in a counter-clockwise motion.
"Sir -- Sir we are in negotiations. I read every line of every contract, and if you think, for one second, I am just going to sign this and-"
"PLEASE SHUT UP!" Hoshek yelled.
"Well, now that's not very polite at all," Andrew said. "And we're nearly half-way through the contract. We'll make it. Now, line fifteen hundred and twelve-"
"No... no. No more contract..." Hoshek lamented, nearly at tears. "Please... just... the suit is yours. It's a gift. Just GO!"
And with this Hoshek threw the suit at Andrew, packed up his table and wares, and disappeared into the closet from which he came.
This dungeon just gets weirder and weirder, Andrew thought to himself as he slipped the suit on.
NEXT ON MEDIEVAL LENDER: THE STABLES, THE LABRADOODLES, AND THE SHOVEL!
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Chapter 7: The Predatory Lenders
"Right."
"Banker's gotta look baller. Banker's gotta show that they're rolling with the big shots. I know exactly what you want."
"Excellent! I'll take it." Andrew reached for his pockets, but then he remembered he had been imprisoned in a crazy dungeon, and had no wallet or money to speak of.
Andrew nodded. He was good and reliable! This Hoshek sure knew him well.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Chapter 6: The Pit of Terrible Curse Words
"Prisoner?" Andrew replied. He took a step forward and tumbled down into a dirt hole.
"No problem," Andrew said, as he he headed for the staircase.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Chapter 5: The Path to The Shovel
Friday, May 22, 2009
Chapter 4: The Dungeon Master
"Alright, I'm sick of this..." the man said, as he began to shuffle away.
"Seriously, you don't remember? Business Development. Justin Weissman"