Chapter 6: The Pit of Terrible Curse Words

Andrew had taken forty-five steps through the darkness before heard someone call out, "Hey you, nerd!"

It was hard to tell exactly where the voice was coming from. "Hi, I'm looking for some sort of pit I have to cross?" Andrew said.

"The Pit of Terrible, Bad, Really Bad, Curse Words! I am its guardian, Kyle Mahoney, and you will soon be my prisoner!!!"
"Prisoner?" Andrew replied.  He took a step forward and tumbled down into a dirt hole. 

"Ouch!" Andrew exclaimed as he landed on a particularly pointy stone.

"Ha, ha! Ha, ha!" Kyle exclaimed as he danced around the hole. "Now I will make you listen to all sorts of awful, mean, feeling-hurting words!!!" 

"Well, alright," he said, as he crossed his legs and sat on the rock. "But if I'm going to be here for a while, do you think I could have some food and drink?" 

"No! You will suffer and be in pain!" Kyle said, dancing around gleefully. 

"Very well, get it on with it then."

Kyle circled the hole. 

"You're fat!" he said. Andrew stood and lifted his shirt up. He hadn't eaten well in at least a week. His ribs were showing.

"I am not fat," Andrew said. 

Frustrated, Kyle pointed down at him, "Fine, maybe you're not, but poop on you!"

"Poop on me?" Andrew repeated out loud. "Is that your idea of cursing?" 

"No! Meanie!" Kyle jumped up and down at this curse word.

"That's not very good either. For a pit of terrible curse words this is quite tame indeed."

"Well, do you have any better words?" Kyle asked. 

Andrew thought for a moment. "If I tell you some words, will you let me out and point me in the direction of the predatory lenders?" 

Kyle thought about this, then nodded his head. "But they must be truly awful curse words! Things that would make your mother slap you!" 

Andrew didn't want mothers to slap him, but he had no choice. "I'm a man of morals, so I dare not say them aloud, but I will give you a hint as to what they are. The first is a male chicken. The second is what happens when you cut your finger. The third is something that rhymes with a type of fowl." 

Kyle thought long and hard. A sneaky grin came across his face. He dropped a rope ladder down to Andrew. Kyle gave him a good, firm handshake. "The predatory lenders are deeper in the dungeon. Down the staircase to your left. Thanks for the words."
"No problem," Andrew said, as he he headed for the staircase.

"Now get out of here you... rooster! You... infection! You... puck!" Kyle gleefully yelled out his new curse words, feeling completely evil. "Watch out roosters! The pit of terrible curse words is cursing again! Now go infect yourself with a puck!"

NEXT TIME ON MEDIEVAL LENDER: The Predatory Lenders Prime!