It was a chorus of annoyance, a choir of harassment, a perfectly off-pitch refrain of pain. They were labradoodles and labradoodles never shut up. Yet Andrew couldn't find them too annoying. They were cute dogs. Cudly. Affectionate. He watched them play together in the field, watching from behind the tall, wooden fence. Clearly these were dogs of superior genetic breeding, and did not suffer from some of the genetic disadvantages of pure bred poodles or pure bred labradors. Andrew knew that labradoodles were well well suited for special work such as Assistance dogs, Hearing or Seizure Alert dogs, or Guide dogs. He had never known them to be effective guard dogs though...
His feet perched on the lower rung of the fence, Andrew stared out past the large green, over the fifty or so labradoodles, and into the stables. He did not see a shovel anywhere. It was must be inside the stables in some kind of utility closet, Andrew thought to himself.
He formulated a plan in his head. He would hop the fence, run as fast as he could, run through the stables, see if he saw the shovel, and run out. Then on his next pass he would run through and grab the shovel. Yes. This was fool proof, and would only require him to run quickly. These were two things that Andrew liked in a plan.
Just as Andrew was about to jump the fence, a trumpet sounded. He stopped, and hid behind a bush. Across the green he could see the gates open and, low and behold, the Goblin King trotted in on his horse. The yapping stopped in his presence, and the dogs sat, well behaved. Behind the Goblin King were his two menacing accountants: Matt Horn the human, and Harold the Ogre. In between the two was a shackled, hooded prisoner.
Seeing this prisoner, the labradoodles began to salivate. Andrew had failed to notice the gaunt look about their faces and their ribs poking out beneath the skin. These creatures were starving.
The Goblin King hopped off his horse and ran to the labradoodles. They jumped up and pawed at him and licked his face. One fuzzy peach colored dog gnawed at his hand and the Goblin King tossed him aside.
"Who's ready for meal time?" the King asked his dogs. They all barked in unison, the saliva dripping from their exposed canines. The King gestured to the prisoner. "Bring him."
The two accountants grabbed the man by his arms, dragging him forward. His heels dug into the ground as he screamed, "Nooo! Not the dogs! Not the dogs!"
Fifty pairs of labradoodle eyes snapped to him. They threw him to the ground. All at once they were on him. Andrew turned to look away, but not before he saw the first dog indulge into the pirsoner's jugular. He listened for another thirty seconds to the sounds of crunching and muching, then turned back. A black colored dog chewed on a femur. Another licked the man's clavicle clean.
The Goblin King turned to Matt. "Take a dozen horses to carry the gold to the Giants. Their price is steep, yes, but it's not my money!" The Goblin King laughed as the two rounded up the horses and left.
Andrew took a few deep breathes and promptly vomitted on his new shoes. He had just watched slash heard a man be consummed by cute puppies. After getting over this filthy act, Andrew grew angry for a myriad of reasons. First of all, he was angry that his plan would not work. These were not the cute cudly labradoodles he had imagined having around the house with his lovely future wife Eliza. They were not the labradoodles that would make good Seizure Alert Dogs. These were ravenous beasts that he could not simply run by. So, for one, he had to change his plan. Secondly, he had heard enough of the Goblin King's conversation that he knew his money was on its way to the Giants of Ostertagg. If the Giants got his money, it would be even harder for him to recoup the loan and return to his bank. Thirdly, he was still angry that he had vomitted on his shoes. They were nice shoes. He made a mental note to find Chris Hoshek and get another pair. Until then, Andrew would need to think of a plan to get into the stables and find that magical shovel...
NEXT TIME ON MEDIEVAL LENDER: ANDREW'S PLAN TO GET PAST THE 'DOODLES
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